The real news is that through a combination of poor execution by hackers and expert prevention by authorities, SoBig's latest epidemic will not cause damage and confusion as feared. Now, the prospect of intercontinental hackers with the world at their mercy isn't a concept foreign to the stuff of comic books - especially with the bizarrely extensive lengths to which the perpetrators have gone. The San Francisco Chronicle nevertheless serves us a report that rivals the best of sci-fi, megalomaniac, geostrategic villainy:
A powerful e-mail virus known as SoBig was thwarted Friday as it attempted to change itself, possibly into a more destructive force.
Remove "e-mail," "virus" and "Sobig." Insert, respectively, "radioactive," "lizard" and "Godzilla." What are we talking about, again?
A coordinated defense by commercial and government computer experts illustrates the growing arms race between Internet miscreants, and public and private authorities.
"Arms race"? Will this culminate in a hallmark treaty conference - perhaps a signing of the Network Effluvium Reduction Directive (NERD)?
For days, commercial antivirus wizards and Department of Homeland Security investigators had been working to stop the self-replicating virus, or worm, from infecting computers.
"Antivirus experts" doesn't do them justice, apparently - especially when they're wearing their conical, star-and-moon hats. (Another one.) The Chronicle is up against the weight of cultural assumptions, here: call someone a "wizard," and you'd better expect a certain mental picture.
At noon, all computers worldwide that were infected with SoBig -- more than 100,000, according to Santa Clara antivirus firm Network Associates -- were to make contact with these 20 computers, where experts believe the worm was evidently destined to download more instructions. What those instructions would be, no one knew.
Emphasis mine. Comic book font, plate echo and dissonant orchestral sforzando, stat!
The topic is, of course, serious; and to be fair, most of the article doesn't flirt with DC-Marvel-Kaiju. But once started, a theme needs a solid denouement; and what's SoBig-Con without its exemplar:
"If he's caught, everyone will probably be startled at how sweaty and dull he turns out to be," said George Smith, a senior fellow with Alexandria, Va., think tank GlobalSecurity.org.
Keep your children close, citizens! Every man with a pocket protector is a potential supervillain. We've yet to see the worst.
